Thank you for starting an adult autie workgroup. I was impressed by Jessica’s presentation in northern Arizona, and am further impressed by the rapidity of an adult workgroup being added to your site.
Me again. I do hope that we can get other adult auties onto this site.
I can quickly see two areas in which this adult autism workgroyp might be of value-
1. We adults need help too. There is always some need to improve one’s self and life. Further, some of us have come to dx or realization late in life. At fiftyfour, I am learning just who I am.
2. We do have life experience. We sometimes know something that did not work for us, but even if our experience has been mostly negative – that is still learning! I would love to think that from my hard experiences, that good can flow.
And also, all of us spectrumites are in this together, irrespective of age.
I have read that diagnosing autism in adults is more difficult than to diagnose children. And of course. An adult has spent years, even decades, learning NT emulation.
Many of autism’s outward signs may not be obvious after so many years of ridicule and punishment. I know of several emulations that I have adopted either consciously or subconsciously across the years. Some of these emulations are of the nature of losing autismisms, other emulations are by way of adopting stereotypical entee behaviours.
But. . . not all entee emulations are really a victory for the autistic person who makes them. . .
And whilst autism’s externalities can be altered easily enough, and can lead to a difficult diagnosis. . . many of autism’s internalities remain seemingly no matter what. Thay have remained within me.
Autism does not evaporate. An adult can profit greatly from knowledge of self – even if that knowledge is not easily gained once adult.
Sorry I have not posted for a while. I have been overly busy. . . Not only with my company, but I have had a major tooth issue and also backed my dear little car into a tree. So .uch to do. . .
One area in which we adults can be of assistance is in the very basic understanding of autism. So little is well understood about it, and for the most part that which is “understood” abput autism is so understood only from looking at it from the outside.
It is different from the inside. Let me give one example.
We auties are accused – right there in the diagnostic criteria – of repetitive useless motions. These are often refered to as “stims” in that they are at best seen as an autistic person stimulating his own neurological system.
I am certain that seen from the outside these actions do appear to be withoututility. From inside, at least some od them have real and potentially important function.
If an autie taps feet or bounces leg or drums fingers or paces or spins – this may be in reaction to stress. These actions may be our ways of releiving stress. And as we fit poorly into the world, we have a lot of stress.
If an autie spins and or flaps, this may be an expression of joy. Even we feel this once in a while.
I know from personal experience what it is like to so emulate neurotypicality as to lose much of myself. It is not necessarily a good thing for a spectrumite to fully emulate being neurotypical.
Certainly some aspects of autism will have to be modified en route a person’s adulthood. None of us ought remain childish. However, not all useless behaviours truly are. I urge cattion in extinguishing all signs of autism.
You are no longer alone in this group. I was unaware that it was formed but am pleased that it has been. I co-host, with Tara Marshall, the adult aspie support group that meets monthly at the Pyle Center in Tempe. I also co-host 2 social groups for young adults (14-24+), which the Phoenix chapter of ASA funds. I will be sure to let the aspie adults on my email list know about this site!
I understand and agree with everything you’ve written. I emulated NT manners for 50 years until I self-discovered that there was another option…to be who I was, an aspie. Never been happier (although the road to self-discovery was not easy and involved getting rid of a lot of baggage!). I’ve been married for 40 years to a wonderful non-NT but also non-AS husband. We’ve grown together and closer as a result of each of our struggles. I work as an occupational therapist with children and adults on the spectrum and fully support their rights to be the person they were born to be. I encourage replacing child-like coping strategies with more mature and socially acceptable ones, but extinquishing them is NOT respecting either their need or how hard the individual is already struggling.
I’m curious as to what the focus or goal is for this work group? It shouldn’t become just another chat room. What are your thoughts on this?
Glad I am not alone. I have been busy with business and have not been here for a few days. Sorry I took so long to respond.
I am glad you found yourself too.
I think that the adult forum could – potentially:
1. Allow adult fellowship. I would think many of us do not get out often.
2. Adult fellowship could allow not only online chatter – but the sharing of one’s gained-at-such-a-cost learnings of life with other adults.
3. I think we dino Aspies and auties have information that would be valuable to younger ASD persons and their families and teachers and other surrounding people. Honest – so much of what I see happening to young ones is pretty frightening.
4. Potentially the establishment od autie culture and civil rights. ASD people do not explod or evaporate at eighteen. There are adult social issues also to be considered.
I think that what aspie adults can best contribute to the coalition is to tell our stories relative to topics that the other groups are addressing: best practice in teaching autistics social skills, need for supports as adults, what is not being taught that should be taught, why there is the need for funding for services for aspies who are not ‘eligible’ currently for services, what needs to be included in transition planning before leaving school, what accommodations are needed in the work and classroom environments, etc. These stories along with our workgroup’s suggestions should then be passed on the the appropriate workgroup within the coalition. I agree that networking is much needed among us, but there actually are other formats available for social networking. There are autie advocacy groups that already exist and autie cultural opportunities. I will be happy to forward these to you. Are you aware of the adult group that meets monthly in Tempe? It is a great opportunity for socializing.
Hello there :
I’m stuck on this computer and it takes me forever to type .Oh yeah, this is David Jay Smith and quite naturally I’m a R.- Aspie. That’s Radical Asperger’s or T. Tactical or Tempestuous. I could be anything. Sue, I must talk to you about adult issues in ASA in Northern Arizona. Hey, Laura, hope to hear from you.
sorry susan I’m new to using computers. That last blog was to you not from you. And I’m not even doing this part my friend is doing it for me. It took me an hour to do the above message. I need to get voice recognition help. I’m working on it. Until then please bear with me if I make any mistakes.
Not sure which name you wish to be called (David, David Jay, David Jay Smith, R.Asp???). No problem with making mistakes…you get your message across just fine. I’d love to discuss adult issues with you and Laura. Our next workgroup meeting is November 18th from 10-12am at the Southwest Human Services Building in Phoenix. What issues are you most concerned about? I take it you are from Northern AZ so meeting in person is not likely.
Susan Golubock led me here – thanks Sue! I am an aspie, inspired into the field of speech language pathology field by a wonderful full-blown kanners who, although nonverbal, reached out to the world for the right to communicate differently. He spoke at conferences and mentored other facilitated speakers. Facilitated speakers are always at risk of losing the right to communicate. The NT world is always poised to take away their right to free speech, and then label them retarded or low functioning for their barriers to communication.
My realization of being aspie provided less understanding of myself – I know who I am – than greater understanding of the NT world. I can see ways I am still not fitting in, and can now fine tune my passing even better. But passing for 40-hours a week is such a stressor. While a few enlightened individuals can see me as a whole person with strengths in addition to my needs, I wish the general NT world could learn a little flexibility around those with differences: see past some of the oddities to appreciate what I do really well. I work in a public school and that can be one of the most intolerant environments for autism – scary when they are educating our autie children!! I have learned the hard way to not “come out.”
I feel that an important mission for us all would be to celebrate our diversity and our paths to the understanding we have of ourselves and the world. We could share strategies for succeeding and interacting with NTs. So many of my generation who were significantly kanners were institutionalized. The rest of us made due without support or understanding of school or family. Girls present differently than guys, and I don’t think that is widely known. Even in today’s world, some children are receiving excellent early intervention, but others are at the mercy of idiotic, intolerant special educators who are not only clueless, but cruel. Our stories can be passed on to others interested in best practice, supported employment, and parents of auties as well as other groups. This discussion group has the potential to become a powerful tool to reach out to the NT world and improve best practices.
Hi, everyone – I’m another member of Sue Golubock’s adult group meeting in Tempe. I’m an Aspie, self-diagnosed several years ago, and finally getting the psychological testing tomorrow to determine whether I fit the official diagnosis. I’ve been married for 14 1/2 years, and have three kids, the oldest of which was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome five or so years ago (he’s 13 now).
I’ve been fortunate enough to be able to hide most symptoms and “fit in” since elementary school, so my “aspie” interests in math, spelling and logic helped me get into “gifted” classes, where there were far fewer kids and less stress. That didn’t prevent me from being a target for bullies (who never seemed to be impressed with good grades), but it sometimes kept me out of their range physically. I grew up here, in West Phoenix, back in the late 70’s and 80’s, when anyone hearing the word “Asperger” was probably most likely to respond “Gesheundteit!”
I’ve always been a step behind everyone else in getting the joke, understanding the unspoken messages, and realizing when I’m being made fun of. A monumental challenge of mine is making new friends (or often, any friends). My default mode is to stay in the back and be quiet – unwanted attention is anathema to an Aspie. So is change – minor schedule or workload adjustments at work often result in major agonizing for me, while they seem trivial to others. The worst times are when I blame myself for problems to a greater extent than what I can control. Life for an Aspie is like riding a rollercoaster blindfolded – you know that big changes are coming, and their going to make you sick, but you can’t anticipate most of them.
At least I can answer the Jeopardy! and Trivial Pursuit questions before most people…..
Thank you for starting an adult autie workgroup. I was impressed by Jessica’s presentation in northern Arizona, and am further impressed by the rapidity of an adult workgroup being added to your site.
Me again. I do hope that we can get other adult auties onto this site.
I can quickly see two areas in which this adult autism workgroyp might be of value-
1. We adults need help too. There is always some need to improve one’s self and life. Further, some of us have come to dx or realization late in life. At fiftyfour, I am learning just who I am.
2. We do have life experience. We sometimes know something that did not work for us, but even if our experience has been mostly negative – that is still learning! I would love to think that from my hard experiences, that good can flow.
And also, all of us spectrumites are in this together, irrespective of age.
Laura
I do hope more adults show up!
I will continue my rant.
I have read that diagnosing autism in adults is more difficult than to diagnose children. And of course. An adult has spent years, even decades, learning NT emulation.
Many of autism’s outward signs may not be obvious after so many years of ridicule and punishment. I know of several emulations that I have adopted either consciously or subconsciously across the years. Some of these emulations are of the nature of losing autismisms, other emulations are by way of adopting stereotypical entee behaviours.
But. . . not all entee emulations are really a victory for the autistic person who makes them. . .
And whilst autism’s externalities can be altered easily enough, and can lead to a difficult diagnosis. . . many of autism’s internalities remain seemingly no matter what. Thay have remained within me.
Autism does not evaporate. An adult can profit greatly from knowledge of self – even if that knowledge is not easily gained once adult.
Sorry I have not posted for a while. I have been overly busy. . . Not only with my company, but I have had a major tooth issue and also backed my dear little car into a tree. So .uch to do. . .
One area in which we adults can be of assistance is in the very basic understanding of autism. So little is well understood about it, and for the most part that which is “understood” abput autism is so understood only from looking at it from the outside.
It is different from the inside. Let me give one example.
We auties are accused – right there in the diagnostic criteria – of repetitive useless motions. These are often refered to as “stims” in that they are at best seen as an autistic person stimulating his own neurological system.
I am certain that seen from the outside these actions do appear to be withoututility. From inside, at least some od them have real and potentially important function.
If an autie taps feet or bounces leg or drums fingers or paces or spins – this may be in reaction to stress. These actions may be our ways of releiving stress. And as we fit poorly into the world, we have a lot of stress.
If an autie spins and or flaps, this may be an expression of joy. Even we feel this once in a while.
I know from personal experience what it is like to so emulate neurotypicality as to lose much of myself. It is not necessarily a good thing for a spectrumite to fully emulate being neurotypical.
Certainly some aspects of autism will have to be modified en route a person’s adulthood. None of us ought remain childish. However, not all useless behaviours truly are. I urge cattion in extinguishing all signs of autism.
Laura,
You are no longer alone in this group. I was unaware that it was formed but am pleased that it has been. I co-host, with Tara Marshall, the adult aspie support group that meets monthly at the Pyle Center in Tempe. I also co-host 2 social groups for young adults (14-24+), which the Phoenix chapter of ASA funds. I will be sure to let the aspie adults on my email list know about this site!
I understand and agree with everything you’ve written. I emulated NT manners for 50 years until I self-discovered that there was another option…to be who I was, an aspie. Never been happier (although the road to self-discovery was not easy and involved getting rid of a lot of baggage!). I’ve been married for 40 years to a wonderful non-NT but also non-AS husband. We’ve grown together and closer as a result of each of our struggles. I work as an occupational therapist with children and adults on the spectrum and fully support their rights to be the person they were born to be. I encourage replacing child-like coping strategies with more mature and socially acceptable ones, but extinquishing them is NOT respecting either their need or how hard the individual is already struggling.
I’m curious as to what the focus or goal is for this work group? It shouldn’t become just another chat room. What are your thoughts on this?
Sue
Hi Sue!
Glad I am not alone. I have been busy with business and have not been here for a few days. Sorry I took so long to respond.
I am glad you found yourself too.
I think that the adult forum could – potentially:
1. Allow adult fellowship. I would think many of us do not get out often.
2. Adult fellowship could allow not only online chatter – but the sharing of one’s gained-at-such-a-cost learnings of life with other adults.
3. I think we dino Aspies and auties have information that would be valuable to younger ASD persons and their families and teachers and other surrounding people. Honest – so much of what I see happening to young ones is pretty frightening.
4. Potentially the establishment od autie culture and civil rights. ASD people do not explod or evaporate at eighteen. There are adult social issues also to be considered.
I wl write again soon. Thank you for being here!
Laura,
I think that what aspie adults can best contribute to the coalition is to tell our stories relative to topics that the other groups are addressing: best practice in teaching autistics social skills, need for supports as adults, what is not being taught that should be taught, why there is the need for funding for services for aspies who are not ‘eligible’ currently for services, what needs to be included in transition planning before leaving school, what accommodations are needed in the work and classroom environments, etc. These stories along with our workgroup’s suggestions should then be passed on the the appropriate workgroup within the coalition. I agree that networking is much needed among us, but there actually are other formats available for social networking. There are autie advocacy groups that already exist and autie cultural opportunities. I will be happy to forward these to you. Are you aware of the adult group that meets monthly in Tempe? It is a great opportunity for socializing.
Sue
Hello there :
I’m stuck on this computer and it takes me forever to type .Oh yeah, this is David Jay Smith and quite naturally I’m a R.- Aspie. That’s Radical Asperger’s or T. Tactical or Tempestuous. I could be anything. Sue, I must talk to you about adult issues in ASA in Northern Arizona. Hey, Laura, hope to hear from you.
So long, The R.Asp.
sorry susan I’m new to using computers. That last blog was to you not from you. And I’m not even doing this part my friend is doing it for me. It took me an hour to do the above message. I need to get voice recognition help. I’m working on it. Until then please bear with me if I make any mistakes.
Welcome R.Asp.,
Not sure which name you wish to be called (David, David Jay, David Jay Smith, R.Asp???). No problem with making mistakes…you get your message across just fine. I’d love to discuss adult issues with you and Laura. Our next workgroup meeting is November 18th from 10-12am at the Southwest Human Services Building in Phoenix. What issues are you most concerned about? I take it you are from Northern AZ so meeting in person is not likely.
Sue
Hi Everybody,
Susan Golubock led me here – thanks Sue! I am an aspie, inspired into the field of speech language pathology field by a wonderful full-blown kanners who, although nonverbal, reached out to the world for the right to communicate differently. He spoke at conferences and mentored other facilitated speakers. Facilitated speakers are always at risk of losing the right to communicate. The NT world is always poised to take away their right to free speech, and then label them retarded or low functioning for their barriers to communication.
My realization of being aspie provided less understanding of myself – I know who I am – than greater understanding of the NT world. I can see ways I am still not fitting in, and can now fine tune my passing even better. But passing for 40-hours a week is such a stressor. While a few enlightened individuals can see me as a whole person with strengths in addition to my needs, I wish the general NT world could learn a little flexibility around those with differences: see past some of the oddities to appreciate what I do really well. I work in a public school and that can be one of the most intolerant environments for autism – scary when they are educating our autie children!! I have learned the hard way to not “come out.”
I feel that an important mission for us all would be to celebrate our diversity and our paths to the understanding we have of ourselves and the world. We could share strategies for succeeding and interacting with NTs. So many of my generation who were significantly kanners were institutionalized. The rest of us made due without support or understanding of school or family. Girls present differently than guys, and I don’t think that is widely known. Even in today’s world, some children are receiving excellent early intervention, but others are at the mercy of idiotic, intolerant special educators who are not only clueless, but cruel. Our stories can be passed on to others interested in best practice, supported employment, and parents of auties as well as other groups. This discussion group has the potential to become a powerful tool to reach out to the NT world and improve best practices.
Hi, everyone – I’m another member of Sue Golubock’s adult group meeting in Tempe. I’m an Aspie, self-diagnosed several years ago, and finally getting the psychological testing tomorrow to determine whether I fit the official diagnosis. I’ve been married for 14 1/2 years, and have three kids, the oldest of which was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome five or so years ago (he’s 13 now).
I’ve been fortunate enough to be able to hide most symptoms and “fit in” since elementary school, so my “aspie” interests in math, spelling and logic helped me get into “gifted” classes, where there were far fewer kids and less stress. That didn’t prevent me from being a target for bullies (who never seemed to be impressed with good grades), but it sometimes kept me out of their range physically. I grew up here, in West Phoenix, back in the late 70’s and 80’s, when anyone hearing the word “Asperger” was probably most likely to respond “Gesheundteit!”
I’ve always been a step behind everyone else in getting the joke, understanding the unspoken messages, and realizing when I’m being made fun of. A monumental challenge of mine is making new friends (or often, any friends). My default mode is to stay in the back and be quiet – unwanted attention is anathema to an Aspie. So is change – minor schedule or workload adjustments at work often result in major agonizing for me, while they seem trivial to others. The worst times are when I blame myself for problems to a greater extent than what I can control. Life for an Aspie is like riding a rollercoaster blindfolded – you know that big changes are coming, and their going to make you sick, but you can’t anticipate most of them.
At least I can answer the Jeopardy! and Trivial Pursuit questions before most people…..